tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55996655485444140032024-02-06T18:04:03.161-08:00gaspumpsandgraveyardsPaige Malonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17287196581300281959noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5599665548544414003.post-56959554282092822052015-04-20T06:19:00.001-07:002015-04-20T06:19:43.753-07:00New blog..new life<p dir="ltr">Hi everyone<br>
Well looks like I only made one blog post here..lazy lazy writer.<br>
A lot has happened since I created this blog so I decided to start a new blog which can be found here. So come on over. :)<br>
<a href="http:// http://thisthatandtheotherpage.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-beginning.html?m=1">http://thisthatandtheotherpage.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-beginning.html?m=1</a></p>
Paige Malonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17287196581300281959noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5599665548544414003.post-30595382921970637082013-07-27T02:30:00.001-07:002013-07-27T04:43:35.206-07:00Gifford Pinchot National Forest , Washington<p dir="ltr"> The Sasquatch Expedition by Paige Malone</p><p dir="ltr"><br>
My first night in the forest I stayed at what they call the Huckleberry campground. This campground is actually a slab of pavement out in the middle of nowhere. The mosquitoes here were completely out of hand. I woke up in the morning and discovered about 50 bites on my legs. You see my RV (aka the rolling turd) drivers side window is stuck halfway down and my two dogs Skipper and Ivan have torn up my screens trying to get at all the trucks that pass us by. If you follow my adventures on Facebook then you are well aware of all the repair issues I have. The current problem is the power steering reservoir overflows when I turn off the engine. I also have a bad oil leak in my generator which is where I will begin my story.</p><p dir="ltr"><br>
The following day I went to check the oil level of the generator and it was low so I added oil but I overfilled it by a long shot and it is clearly marked do not overfill. So I am standing there wondering what to do now. I remembered how when I start the engine the power steering fluid gets sucked down and I can add more and that was all the thought I gave the matter. I left the oil cap off and put my head right over the hole so I could see how much the oil level drops. I fired up the generator and was immediately covered in oil. I stood up straight with oil dripping down my head and shoulder and the only thing that came to mind was " Well this is new and different". I had to wash my hair four times with dish soap before heading into town to buy more oil. </p><p dir="ltr"><br>
Later that day after sorting out my oil difficulties I laid down in bed to rest my back. I dropped my phone down behind the bed. Now I've done this before mind you and I know the last time I had to remove the mattresses to get it. This time however I thought I would just simply reach down and grab it. I slid my hand down along the wall and felt the phone I had it in my grip and went to pull my arm back out. As my good friend Starla says " No can do!" My arm is now trapped between the wall and the bed frame and its not budging. If only I could wring some more oil out of my hair to lube up my arm. Now remember I am in a very remote area of the forest all by myself with my two dogs which aren't exactly Lassie or Rin Tin Tin. I had visions of that movie 127 hours where the man was rock climbing by himself and his arm got trapped by a bolder and he resorted to cutting off his own arm. I laid there for a few minutes nothing sharp in my reach I thought to myself well this is just great I'm going to have to chew off my arm. I really needed a cigarette bad at this point and they too were out of my reach, needless to say I got my arm out without gnawing it off.</p><p dir="ltr">The pups and I did some scouting for any signs of sasquatch. I did come across a very interesting print although it appeared to be quite old. Skip and Ivan found lots of deer and elk poo which they proceeded to roll in so back to the RV for doggie baths. That evening I tried some of my very own vocalizations which kind of reminded me of what it would sound like if a woman was being bludgeoned to death. I tried some tree knocking but no luck so I decided to try another place. </p><p dir="ltr">Second Camp</p><p dir="ltr">I drove the turd over to the south side of Mount Saint Helens as close as I could get to Goat Marsh lake. I met two men they're one of whom shared his bigfoot story with me. he was 10 years old and on a Boy Scout camping trip. He woke in the middle of the night having to go to the bathroom so he grabbed his little pen light and headed towards the outhouse. he happened to shine His light on a tree and thought he was looking at a knob on the tree and to his complete shock and horror a giant creature stepped out behind the tree and walked to another tree and then peeked out behind the tree at him. In his own words " I pissed my pants and froze my ass off the rest of the night". This was an awesome story and exactly what I was looking for. He was kind enough to give me his trail map of the forest before I left to find my spot for the night.</p><p dir="ltr">I found a great spot in thick forest that was very isolated. I set up my campfire wood and planned to do some night time exploration. However, I made the mistake of watching the movie Evil Dead prior to it getting dark so Bigfoot hunting was cancelled for the evening because I creeped myself out once again. I really don't need to watch any scary movies because I routinely scare myself just by thinking of UFOs because being by myself out in isolated areas I am the poster child for an alien abduction. </p><p dir="ltr">Third Camp </p><p dir="ltr">I decided that I needed to find a place close to a water source to increase my chances of a Bigfoot sighting. I found a great little spot right on the Cispus River just south of Randle where there have been a few sightings. I hiked the river looking for any tracks of animals coming to drink. Skipper decided that he had had enough and went up an embankment. I could hear him barking and thought he had went back to the RV and was mad that I wasn't there. Nope he was trapped up on this hill with thick brush and a huge pile of boulders on the other side so he was going to bark until I rescued him. I could not climb the hill so my other choice was to climb the boulders. I'm wearing flip flops and I look down and see a beautiful snake skin. Perfect now I'm going to get bit by a snake or break my leg one or the other. I happened to glance down and saw this gleaming shiny gold on one of the rocks surfaces. I cracked the rock open and was amazed it looked like gold jewelry in there. My troubles are over I hit the mother lode!!! Just one glimpse and I've got gold fever.</p><p dir="ltr"> Later that day I met a gold miner name John, well actually I scared the s*** out of John when I walked into his camp looking for river access. I told him to stop by the RV on his way out to look at the gold I found. He came down a few days later and informed me I found a huge pile of fools gold. Darn it! This is one of my favorite things about living in an RV full time the really nice characters I get to meet on the road. John and I shared stories of the paranormal and he also shared a possible Bigfoot encounter. He was at his camp and heard something fall from the cliff above, something big. He looked over that way and there was a tree lying down so he couldn't get a clear view and all he could see were two legs walking down the hill. He thought right away it must be a bear and he was only seeing the two legs because of the angle so he rushed up there to see what was invading his camp.. Nothing. Whatever it was was gone. John made a campfire at my site and parked his truck there and we talked well into the evening. He taught me about the minerals and metals I had found in the rocks along with some crystals. I fed him my crappy walmart cheesecake. He seemed to be happy with that. We parted ways in the morning and I passed on the trail map that I was given he was very pleased with this as well.</p><p dir="ltr">Fourth camp</p><p dir="ltr"> Now I am an adventurer always have been since I was a wee child. I think it's important to detour off of the main roads whenever possible because that is where adventure hides. I found myself on a beautifully paved forest road. I saw a dirt road off to the side with a little marker that just said 22. Well this must be a sign from God my birthday is the 22nd this is the road that will lead to sasquatch. I drove..and drove..up this little narrow rutted mountain road. Now the original plan was to stay close to the river not too far from my last camp because I am running low on gas and I wont have any more money until August. </p><p dir="ltr"> I forgot to mention the previous day I had taken a wrong turn and drove straight up Mount St Helens only to find out that there is no road through and I would have to turn around and drive all the way back. I coasted down the mountain praying I would not run out of gas and when I finally made it to a gas station I put in my last 90 dollars which really doesn't give you much with a 75 gallon tank. It was a little scary driving on E but it was well worth it to see the volcano breach. Mother Nature is scary.</p><p dir="ltr">Ok so back to driving ol road 22. There were no camp sites on this road it just kept going and going. I finally found a place I could pull off for the night. I found myself thinking about barnacles. What are barnacles exactly? Where do they come from? I know they stick to ships.However I don't recall ever standing in the ocean and fearing a barnacle attack. Maybe I should. Barnacle is a very funny word when you keep saying it over and over. barnacle barnacle barnacle</p><p dir="ltr">Fifth camp</p><p dir="ltr">Ok the gas situation is not good. My choices are to turn around and go back the way I came or to push on into the unknown and see what happens. I chose the latter. I found a beautiful spot high up on a ridge overlooking Mount Adams. Wow! This will be home for the next week and I am going to do some serious bigfooting. So once again the dogs and I scouted the area during the day to find any tracks. If any animals are coming up from the valley they have to cross this dirt road this will be a perfect place to look for any game trails. As we were walking the road I spotted an elk coming up the hill. Perfect! I now know where the animals route is. I found many tracks going up the dirt embankments along the road. I found a very interesting track that sure looked like three barefoot prints going up the hill. I have a 30 inch inseam and I could only stretch half the distance of this gait. This was very exciting. Also a lot of hooved animals and to my disliking a huge cat paw print. Yikes! My friend Rebekah had warned me of the dangers when crossing paths with a big cat. It was quite surreal to see that very large cat print it struck fear in my heart. I had something else that I had to deal with at the moment though. Black flies!! They were everywhere! I had to think quickly and I begin to swim walk. Which is basically me doing a freestyle swim stroke as fast as I can as I walk these mountain roads. Thats right the legend of the swimwalker is real.</p><p dir="ltr">I set out that evening with my trusty tree knocker ( a big stick) as my only defense. The dogs stayed home as I was too afraid I might have to defend all three of us and thought chances of survival would be limited. I whooped and tree knocked down the road, through the creeks and down the waterfalls. I know my voice echoed throughout the valley and if any one was camping they surely packed up and headed for home. I got no response. I begin to think about the show Finding Bigfoot and how on every show they get a return vocalization or a treeknock. What do they have that I don't? What am I missing? I pondered this for a while and then it struck me. Bobo! They have Bobo! I quickly whipped out my phone app squatch box that has Bobo doing vocalizations. For the next 3 hours Bobo and I yelled our hearts out and I treeknocked until my treeknocker snapped and could tree knock no more. Still Nothing.</p><p dir="ltr">I spent the next few days trying to lure a bigfoot to my camp. That's right you guessed it bacon! Still nothing. I laid awake all night listening for any sign of something entering my camp. I also kept my nose to the air as Bigfoot is supposed to have an awful stench. Last night at 3:40 am I smell something. It was quite an unusual smell. A little like skunk cabbage. I took deep breaths trying to discern the subtleties of this smell. I quietly rolled over in bed to get my nose closer to the window and to my shock and horror there it was!! Skippers butt on my pillow! I had been deeply inhaling and trying to decipher the subtleties of a dog fart for the past 20 minutes.</p><p dir="ltr">Well folks my battery is almost dead so ill end here. I am currently at a rest stop my tires need to be replaced the steel wire is now showing. Good grief more money! Anyway I hope you enjoyed my first blog post. Stay tuned for some more adventures next month I hope to get back to some paranormal investigating. Please leave a comment if you enjoyed this. I hope I brought a smile to your face. See ya down the road...</p><p dir="ltr"><br></p><p dir="ltr"><br></p>
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